Currently Listening Kill Bill: Volume 2 By Various Artists see related

visiting xanga for the first time in six months

I realized writing is balm to my soul, even writing about things that have nothing to do with the endless questions plaguing me.  I felt like my head would explode last night, and penning a haiku calmed the storm somehow.  No idea why.  I love riding horses, holding babies, reading about pirates and drinking wine.  And looking at drawings I did years ago; though I saw just the other day in the very back of my sketchbook that someone drew me while I was asleep about 5 years ago, and I never saw it till now.  No idea who, but it was simultaneously cool and slightly creepy.

Currently Listening The Crow: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack By Various Artists see related

I love being home

And I love that I can actually say that.  It hasn't always been the case.  And I love that for the first time in my life, I have a pastor that I actually respect and can talk to.  A caring, genuine pastor is extremely rare in my experience. And I love the beach, and the torridly hot Charleston coast.  I love that I can actually sleep in, and watch movies, and have time to process the whirlwind of the past 5 months.And there really is no place like home when you're sick, because no one's like mom.  I had about the worst cramps of my life today, so bad I couldn't stand on my feet and twice thought I was going to pass out, but mom was there.  It made me grateful that unlike some people, I don't have pain that intense on a daily basis.  But it also made me think that maybe I will never have babies.  It hurt like freaking hell for hours, waves of pain, and I'm sure labor would be a lot worse.  Fortunately not a decision I need to make now.

On a side-note, I'm not Elisabeth Elliot's biggest fan, but she has some good things to say, and I found this beautiful bit of a poem in one of her books.  It hit something for me.  Perhaps because just now it seems life is full of goodbyes.  Those that have already happened, and those I know will happen soon.

"Let this goodbye of ours, this last goodbye / Be still and splendid like a forest tree. . . / Let there be one grand look within our eyes / Built of  the wonderment of the past years, / Too vast a thing of beauty to be lost / In quivering lips and burning floods of tears."

Currently Listening Such Great Heights By Iron & Wine see related

these were just too funny

...not to post somewhere. These are actual excuses employers have been given by employees for not showing up for work.  1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.

5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.

7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.

8. Employee's mother was in jail.

9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.

11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.

12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.

13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.

14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.

15. Employee was sad.

I'm stiiiiiill sick, and had to miss the Budapest trip with the group this weekend.  But, there are compensations.

Currently Listening Chutes Too Narrow By The Shins see related

starting the European wandering

Currently Reading Othello (Oxford School Shakespeare Series) By William Shakespeare see related

What's Heaven

Horses.  They're a piece of heaven to me, at least.  I actually got to go riding for the first time in over a year! Horses are heaven because with them I feel this sense of peace and rest that's absent from most of life.  Animals accept you like people don't, and it's just simple.  When you first get on their back, they test you to see who's in control, and once that's established it's give and take, just simple give and take...no shit.  And somehow when you mount a horse, the rest of the world, all the ugly parts, they just fall away.  You're left with nothing but the joy of motion, and the beauty of your surroundings.

Anyway, some friends from church have a place out in the country, and the other day when I was musing over how much I miss horses, mom suggested I ask them if I could come out to their place, since they're always talking about how their horses need more exercise.  I went out there yesterday and rode with 3 other girls.  Sarah and I know our way around horses pretty well, but Brook hadn't set foot in stirrup in years, and Austin's barely ridden at all.  Well, as soon and we were all tacked up and headed for the trail Austin's horse started acting quite frisky and scaring the heck out of her, so she was talking about not going. So, I switched mounts with her and hopped on the frisky young thing.  He's barely more than  colt, so he had an excuse...he's really a sweetheart.  Well, he kept my hands full and gave me a few nervous moments; I spent the majority of the time holding him back.  He wanted to run, as my sore hands could attest.  It was a good thing Austin wasn't on him, or I think she'd have been taken for a ride to the wild blue yonder.  But it was so much fun.  I'd never ridden a Tennessee Walker before.  Gaited horses are different, but their running walk is soooo comfortable!  I got to ride 2 of the other horses, and then we untacked and groomed, and headed to the house for hot chocolate.  Wonderful day.

Mini-side-rant:  Why do all these outdoor/sporting stores cater so heavily to men?  Do they think women don't do outdoorsy things?  That's what their stock seems to say.  Like this store selling boots had multiple aisles dedicated to men's shoes, and one tiny aisle for women.  In most of the stores the men's section had far more hats, heavy gloves, and coats to choose from.  Like dad said, do they think women don't get cold?  OK, done with rant.  Happy New Year.